It's been too long

     It's been almost 2 years since I last wrote here.  The work has been deep and hard.  Life has had big events, and a break was necessary.  Yet out of all that has taken place during my hiatus, I find myself wanting to write again.  This time, though, my world has expanded.

     My family grew via adoption last year, and that has me on the other side of trauma.  There is no such thing as adoption without trauma, and while I don't know all that my little one endured during her earliest years, I know she's experienced various forms of trauma.  That's put me on the caretaker side as well as on the healing side.  My daughter has taught me so much about facing hard things.

     So as I pick this up again, there are some changes.  First, along with changing up the look a bit, I have renamed the blog.  It was My Voice My Story Redeemed.  However, all of our stories are intertwined with the stories of others.  Mine is no different.  Sharing my story will touch the stories of those around me.  I am not alone in this, and I never was.  I just couldn't see that before.

     This is still my voice, being redeemed, as God redeems my story and the stories of those around me.  I'm still watching Him make beauty from the ashes of abuse, but I'm watching Him redeem more than just my story.  The title doesn't quite fit.  But one thing I've learned is that He makes mosaics out of our ashes.  He makes them from everyone's stories.  So here, as I write, I'm offering you hope as you watch Him make mosaics.  For a bit more understanding, you can read this post.  I can put those thoughts into better words now, but I want the original words to stand.  I wrote those almost 4 years ago.  Now "mosaic" is tattooed on my wrist.  Making Mosaics is God's redemptive work in all of us.

     Second, the focus will be broadened.  God is teaching me in so many ways that I never anticipated.  I've seen how trauma, no matter what kind, unites those who walk this road.  In my own family, we have multiple people healing from multiple kinds of traumas.  God shows up in all of it, and He is growing me.  The focus will expand to abuse, adoption, trauma in general...all ashes God sees, picks up, cleans, and makes beautiful mosaics out of.  My world has expanded, so the blog will follow.

     Third, and lastly, while I will keep the names of other people (my family included) private and will not share pictures here for the sake of privacy, I am no longer keeping myself private.  When I started this blog, I was ready to be heard.  Now, I am ready to be seen too.  My story isn't private at all anymore, but I have still tried to hide as best I could.  However, I don't want to keep hiding.  My story is known on a national level to some extent.  Though shame sticks and smothers still, I am taking one small step to take away it's control.  So...

Hi.  My name is Kelly.  I survived childhood sexual abuse at the hands of my gymnastics coach.  Now God is redeeming these ashes and making me a new mosaic.  I pray you find hope here in the midst of whatever hard you are walking, because we all have our own hard.