One lie I've held for as long as I can remember is this: my value is my body...more specifically my value is in what my body can offer men. It's a lie that was repeatedly thrust into me for years when I was a child. I never gave my body over to any man, but perpetrators never need your permission. My coach just took what he wanted of my body which just cemented the lie further into my soul each time.
I never even knew it was a lie or had a conscious thought that my worth was in what my body could give men, but it was set firm into my very core. Years and years and it's no surprise I brought that lie into my marriage. Coupled with horrific counsel before marriage, I was set up to see my husband through that lens as well, and it had nothing to do with how he treated me. I had no other lens to look through. My husband is an incredible man who I am so grateful for.
When a lie roots itself so deep and thrives for decades, it's not so easy to believe the truth. In fact, it's hard to find the truth at all to even have a starting point. Yet God is faithful. I've been praying, seeking, asking Him to help me recognize the lies, see the truth, and learn to believe what's true. Some are easier than others to fight against, but this one...this one is one of the most insidious, weaving itself into every part of my soul. Today, though, He showed me. He showed me truth.
My church is currently going through the book of Revelation. I wasn't sure what to expect when we started, but it's been so good. God has used it in ways I never would have expected. Today, the pastor was working through Revelation 11. In talking about the suffering of the saints, he went to Matthew 10:28-31.
And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
The pastor went on to talk about these verses. Other people can spit on us, insult us, harm us, even kill our physical bodies, but Jesus says we are of more value than just our body. Yes, our bodies are important. What happens to us that impacts them matters, but what happens to our bodies can never devalue our souls. We are more than just a body. Our bodies have value but much more, our souls. Bodies are temporary, but our souls are eternal.
What was done to my body, all the ways my coach violated it, does not have a say in my value before God. My value doesn't rest in what my body can do for another. Jesus testified I am of much more value than just a body. I am a body with a soul inside, and my coach never had the power to take away the value of my soul, of who I am in Christ.
God intimately cares for the sparrows and knows them fully, yet how much more He cares for me and knows me even to the number of hairs on my head. I am more than my body. I am more than what my body can offer. I am a beloved daughter, a soul of much more value than I can grasp.
This truth, I know it in my head. Now it will take time to sink deep into my soul, to uproot the lies so tangled into all the parts of me, and to learn how to live out of what is true rather than the lie I have believed for far too many years. That is hard and holy work, but He is faithful through it. You too, beloved sister, are not the sum of your body. You are of much more value than that.
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